What Fathers Can Learn from Heathcliff Huxtable Vs. Bill Cosby
Baby Daddy weekend is here and I would like to say Happy Father’s Day to all of you who have chosen to accept this role and responsibility in your life. Many will take the opportunity this weekend to give their definition of “What Makes a Good Father” or “How to be a Good Dad”, so I decided to be included in the mix.
The privilege of being someone’s father is such an amazing thing. Regardless of anyone’s opinion on how well you are doing at being one or not, having the opportunity to shape minds, influence behavior and propel someone into their life purpose is never to be taken lightly. When it comes to being a father, I often think about the commercial that says “you don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent” and especially now in wake of the Bill Cosby trial. Why Bill Cosby? Because he was one of the many men I grew up watching and trying to model my behavior after when I was young. Heathcliff Huxtable. The greatest television Dad that ever lived. If you grew up in the 90’s, you can’t tell me that you didn’t dream of having a household like the Huxtable’s.
Of course this is way before I knew anything about his recently (alleged) exposed character flaws, but even in that, I still consider him to be a good father figure. Why? See the one thing my biological father, my step-father, both of my father in-laws, the guys in my home town of SLATER, MO who I looked to as father figures, my friends who are fathers and myself all have in common besides being father’s is that we all have flaws. By no means do I condone the alleged actions of Bill Cosby, but I do applaud the efforts of Heathcliff Huxtable. There was so much I learned from the perfect father Heathcliff that allowed me to forgive the not so perfect father Bill. Not that he personally cares about my forgiveness, but I have to be honest with myself about how disappointed I was when I heard of what he had allegedly done.
Our children are the same way. They see us as either Bill or Heathcliff. Perfect or flawed. They are not looking for perfection, they are looking for their father. They are pulling from the reserve in the Heathcliff tank to forgive our (alleged) Bill moments. Regardless of our flaws, if you are willing to be active in their life and not just be present in the house. If you are willing to sacrifice the big piece of chicken so they won’t go hungry. If you will allow them to enjoy the short time they have to be a kid or a teenage or young adult without robbing them of the different phases of life. It is then and only then when you don’t have to be perfect in order to be a perfect parent.
Happy Father’s Day.